"Will I always have to be content with just talking to his family and never him? I mean, they don't mind talking to me, why does he?I just wish I had decided earlier...by the time I had told and convinced myself to smile at him he didn't look back. I still feel the rush in my heart when I look at him. Why am I not good enough for him? I know I shouldn't keep doubting myslef and all, but its human anture. I can't help it. I can hardly lookat him. I thought I had gotten over it, but I guess I still have feelings for him. Like Madea said, you think you're over it until you see him with another girl. If you let it go, then you're over it. If you can't stand it, and you beat the hell out of him, you ain't over it yet. I guess I'm not. I still love his family and I miss them so much. I love his dad. He makes me smile constantly over the stupidest stuff when I'm around him. And his little sister is so cute. SHe still loves me, and texts me every once in a while just to say hey. And his mom...I feel like she is the kind of mom who would drop anything just because someone needed her. THey are all so sweet, and honestly he is too, and you wouldn't even be able to comprehend how much I miss all of them. I felt it in the pit of my stomach when I saw them each and every time tonight. What is it gonna take to stick it in my mind that he is over it and im not? What will it take for me to finnally see it?
Well to start out, I'm in this day by the way, I'm not sure what I was truly thinking when I wrote this. Yeah, I bet it was after a football game, because I saw his family regurally because of those games. They would talk to me, but he wouldn't. But that was a while back. Things have changed some. I don't feel the hole he left as much. I'm learning everyday how to move on. Yes, I really liked him. Really really liked him. But sometimes, things don't work out how you expect them. That's what life's about. Every day is a challenge, but I'm strong enough to let go.
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